Deep Rest
Leading our Minds Through Change
I took a break from real estate communications this past winter. This “offline time” allowed for rest and reflection. The fruits of this period have been many including a renewed focus in real estate. But foundational have been insights into deep rest and the leading of one’s mind through times of change.
Defining Rest
If there is a lost art in our culture, it may be that of true rest. We often don’t know what we don’t know. This has been true of me.
I turned fifty last year and would have said I knew how to rest well. Turn off the devices. Get some exercise. Take a long nap. Eat well. Love on your family.
Certainly these are good elements of rest. But what of the mind? How does it rest?
I would have said my mind rests through distraction. I play a game with my wife. I watch a movie with my kids. And then when not otherwise engaged, my mind occasionally finds a solution to a work problem, or occasionally daydreams about future goals.
These are healthy mental fruits of rest. But could there be an even deeper level of rest for the mind?
Letting Go
I have come to understand that the degree to which I can let go of my ambitions and anxieties about the future will be the degree to which I can enjoy a deeper state of rest.
This is much easier said than done.
I’m at the age where wage-earners reflect a bit more upon future retirement. Will I retire? When? If so, how much money will I need to live comfortably? And what career choices do I make now in response to these retirement questions?
These are very healthy and responsible reflections related to planning for the future. But as COVID has taught us, our plans for the future can change overnight. A pandemic emerges. I get sick. My kid gets sick. The economy blows up. A new war starts.
How then do we find any rest in this moment knowing that the next moment can upend everything?
My explorations into regular physical rest this past season revealed the need for a new way to rest my mind. The distraction techniques I used historically had their limits. After the distraction ended, ambitions and anxieties returned.
I could see I needed new habits to find a deeper rest.
The Work of Deep Rest
I found that deep rest paradoxically takes a bit of effort. The mind needs a simple form of mental leadership to find its way to new habits.
The leadership I have been experimenting with involves quieting the mind by consciously limiting information inputs. I have turned off most notifications on my phone, thus removing the trigger of unpredictable dings or buzzes. I also created more silence through limiting media consumption and unneeded conversation.
The leadership also involves training the mind. This training - called meditation in the east and contemplation in western Christian traditions - can be frustrating. But in time, it yields a deep restfulness as well as helpful insights.
Over Easter, I led a contemplative retreat at my church. At home, I sit daily in silence and shepherd the thoughts of my mind. These practices have deepened my sense of mental rest. And they have whet my appetite to practice and learn more.
From the Inside
I am giving just a quick thumbnail sketch of what is a lifelong practice. The process of turning away from our attachments to the future never ends. But I am finding that bit by bit, new habits do emerge, and with them, a growing sense of deeper rest in today.
One of my favorite poems by Rumi speaks to this process:
“I have lived on the lip
of insanity, wanting to know reasons,
knocking on a door. It opens.
I’ve been knocking from the inside.”
I love the poem’s honesty. It acknowledges that we can be driven to live on the “lip of insanity” in our life’s quest.
But eventually we experience an opening. And paradoxically, we find what we have been yearning for has been with us all along.
From the Inside - A New Platform
My offline time this past season allowed me to explore my own rhythms of rest.
Ostensibly, nothing has changed in my life. I still look forward to providing my real estate clients with great service. I still look forward to continuing to love my wife and raise our daughters.
But on the inside, I sense the beginning of a new season.
To chronicle this season, I plan on exploring themes of rest, stillness, and contemplation through prose, poetry, and video.
I will explore themes addressed in Rumi’s poem such as:
How can we back away from the lip of insanity?
How can we knock on the door of understanding?
What happens when the door opens?
I invite you to journey with me in this process.
I will be creating a new platform called “From the Inside” in the coming months. You can expect emails from me every two months with engaging content. If you are interested, please sign up below and look for a first email very soon.
Blessings,
Guy
